We have had a blissful beginning to November. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been cold! However, this string of sunny, clear days has also been quite magical too. And the sunsets! I appreciate the clarity that November brings. For me the dark, shorter days are a chance to review and reflect. Take stock of what worked and didn’t work over the season. And, it is also a good time to rest. The sheep are being bred which hopefully means lambs will be arriving in March! Later this month we will be gathering and celebrating another year.
However, with the recent and sudden loss of two friends in my community, I have also been reminded that this is a hard time of year too. I have been struggling to understand things I will never understand on a certain level. I am making a deliberate effort to check-in with people close to me, and also myself. Are you okay? Are you happy? Do you need help? I have always had the believe that everyone deserves to be happy and everyone has the right to ask for help. Although, I know these things are often hard to do or acknowledge. It is amazing how quickly it can feel like the whole world is conspiring against us, but that is what it is—just a feeling—and not the actual truth.
As I was driving my 4-year old home from preschool she said, “They are dying and they are going into the ground.” Not knowing what she was referring to, I quickly replied, “Um, what sweetie?” She smiled, “The leaves. They are dead, that is why they are not green anymore.” I deduced that her astute and piercing observation was from a science lesson she had at school earlier that day, but it made me think.
I have been enamored with the colorful, changing leaves over the past few weeks. Some trees literally look like they are on fire. This dazzling show of yellow, red, and orange offers me peace. It helps me remember that loss and change can be bitterly painful and also, sometimes, beautiful. And, nature, is always there to comfort and amaze.
As I sit here in my nice, warm office I hear the swans pass overhead. A married pair of eagles (they mate for life) are building a nest on the back corner of the farm. I don’t take any of this for granted. I am thinking of you all and of new ways to gather people here on the farm. You are loved and you are important. Please, know that!
xoxoJessica
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255 (Español 888-628-9454; TTY 800-799-4889)